Women can’t ever catch a break from men’s wrongdoings, even if they’re their parent.
A few days ago, Robin Padilla was on the headlines for his remarks regarding the separation of Kylie Padilla and Aljur Abrenica—his daughter and son-in-law. In an interview with Ogie Diaz, Robin Padilla said that he “understands” why Abrenica cheated on his daughter and that it’s “impossible” for something like that (a third party) to not happen in a showbiz marriage.
And while he thinks that he shouldn’t meddle in his daughter’s marriage because of his lack of credibility (aka he also cheated on her daughter’s mom), Robin Padilla also said that he believes that his daughter should allow her husband to convert to Islam because of Polygyny or the marriage of a man to two or more women at the same time.
Upon hearing and seeing the news articles about Padilla’s statements, people online were quick to criticize him for defending his unfaithful son-in-law rather than his daughter. The question in everyone’s mind is, “who would want their father defending the person who cheated instead of defending them?”
May I just point out at how problematic it is for Robin Padilla to tell Kylie Padilla that she should be thankful Aljur is a "man" and real men actually cheat?
Because anyone who has the decency shouldn't be cheating, the same way people aren't supposed to be martyrs for it.
— Gillian Cortez (@gmcortez_) July 8, 2021
The most stupidest thing I heard today is Robin Padilla forgiving Aljur for breaking his daughters heart with no apologies because its "natural" for men to cheat🥴
— Nate (@ItsNateHun) July 8, 2021
Robin Padilla's mentality demonstrates how a patriarchal society breeds men with a sick and twisted perspective. Consider how he refuses to acknowledge Aljur's issue about his alleged marital disloyalty as if it were a common occurrence.
— Ali (@_vaguesun) July 10, 2021
i really couldn't stomach robin padilla's assertions. seriously? your daughter has been cheated by her husband & yet you're justifying the mistakes of aljur by using your masculinity instead of educating & rectifying him. lmao, cheaters have same mind e, 'no? 🥱
— ً (@josiahtraves) July 8, 2021
Sigh.
In a country where infidelity is somewhat normalized, women almost always have it the hardest. Statements like Padilla’s are signs that cheating is already internalized and considered “normal” in our patriarchal society. Which shouldn’t be the case because it’s not okay, and will never be okay for anyone who experiences getting cheated on.
Cheating should never be a norm in any kind of society because it’s a choice made in a moment of selfishness. If you are unhappy in your relationship or marriage, then just break it off, even if it sounds hard. If you cheat, then you’re just giving the person emotional pain and mental distress, which causes feelings of insecurity and worthlessness, and especially the feeling of not being “good enough”. You wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of this pain—no one would. And yet, there are so many people out there who would consciously cheat on their significant others because they were bored.
Cheating isn’t a way to prove a man’s masculinity either. If it were, then there wouldn’t be laws against adultery and concubinage in our country. But upon reading into these laws, women found guilty of adultery are punished harsher than men found guilty of concubinage. In short, women still lose even in the law, which is sad.
Also, Padilla saying that his daughter’s spouse should just convert to Islam because the religion allows polygamy is a gross misinterpretation of their teachings. Polygamy is allowed to an extent in Islam, where they allow men to have 4 wives. But, they are only allowed to if they are able to provide for them and their families. This is seen in Verse 3 of the fourth chapter of the Qu’ran, and is said to be a verse about compassion towards women and children, and not about men and their sexual preferences.
So, to cut this all short, can we all just agree that cheating is never, and should never be okay for anyone.
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