‘It’s Showtime’ hosts Jhong Hilario, Vhong Navarro, and Ogie Alcasid got emotional while delivering their messages to their children for Father’s Day, which is a welcome display of vulnerability in our highly patriarchal society.
In the episode that aired last June 17, they were asked what it meant to be a “cool dad.”
Vhong teared up as he answered the question and acknowledged his shortcomings in raising his children while working in the entertainment industry. “Mahirap kasing maging cool dad, mahirap ibigay lahat yun, kasi minsan kailangan mo maging tough or strong or maging strikto para sa mga bata, diba? [It’s difficult to be a cool dad, it’s hard to give it your all, because sometimes you need to be tough or strong or strict for the kids, right?],” he said.
“Siguro ako nag-start maging cool dad nung mga bata pa sila. Kasi nung time na yun, konting oras pa lang kami nagsasama. Every weekend ko lang nakikita mga anak ko [I probably started being a cool dad when they were still kids. During that time, we only spent a little time together. I only see my children every weekend],” Vhong shared. “Sumasabay pa dun sa trabaho. Kailangan ko mag-adjust kung anong hilig nila kahit magmukha kang tanga. Pero alam mo yung ngiti nila, kahit pinagtatawanan kanila, basta napapasaya mo sila [I even juggle it with my work. I need to learn and adjust to their interests even if it makes me look foolish. But you know, seeing their smiles, even if they laugh at you (makes it all worth it), as long as you make them happy],” he added.
Vhong also shared how all his hard work is for his two sons and apologized for spending little time with them as they were growing up.
On the other hand, Jhong who was seen wearing a blazer with a print of his daughter’s photo shared how he is proud of his daughter.
“Nakakatuwa lang na at the age of 2, nakakapagpangiti na siya, nakakapagpatawa na siya, nakaka-inspire na siya ng maraming tao. Para sakin, isang blessing na napakalaki na binigay sakin yun. Sobrang proud lang ako [It brings me joy to know that at the age of 2, she is already capable of making people smile, laugh, and inspire many. For me, it is a tremendous blessing that has been given to me. I am extremely proud],” he said.
Lastly, Ogie shared that there is no such thing as being a perfect father, but as the head of the family, they try their very best to be available to their family.
He shared how difficult it was for him to be a father who lives at a distance from him – pertaining to his daughters with Michelle Van Eimeren before they separated.
“Yung 2 anak kong babae kasi hindi lumaki sakin yun. Pero, sinikap ko na bawat pagkakataon na nandun ako para sa kanila. Lumilipad ako sa Australia para makapiling sila kahit sandali lang. Napakasakit nun sa kanila [My two daughters didn’t grow up with me. However, I made an effort to be there for them every chance I got. I would fly to Australia just to be with them, even for a brief moment. It was very painful for them],” he said.
Ogie added, “We try our best under the circumstances pero nagpapasalamat ako sa mga anak ko kasi lumaki silang magagaling na anak, mabubuting anak. Nagpapasalamat ako kay Michelle at kay Mark na pinalaki nila yung mga anak kong babae na mapagmahal [We try our best under the circumstances, but I am grateful to my children because they grew up as excellent and kind-hearted individuals. I am thankful to Michelle and Mark for raising my daughters to be loving.]”
Why it matters
In a highly patriarchal nation such as the Philippines, men are mostly expected to inhibit emotions and feelings. Moreover, there is pressure imposed by tradition for fathers to come in solely as providers and “protectors” of the family, having limited purview in the daily lives of their children and mothers taking on the tasks of childrearing, discipline, and “managing the home.”
The hosts’ display of vulnerability showed that fatherhood is much more than earning money for the family, that they can also be active participants in the journey of child-rearing and building a functional family. Studies have shown that there is correlation between high levels of father involvement and higher levels of sociability, confidence, and self-control in children, and that children with involved fathers are less likely to act out in school or engage in risky behaviors in adolescence.
Showing emotions is good and should be encouraged as it is part of human nature. Fathers should never be seen as emotionless beings inside any home.
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