Longing for someone I haven’t met (yet)

June 29th, 2021

The following #POPCreators entry was submitted by Ana Sherlene Angeles, as a 26-year-old loans processor in a government bank, she often deals with numbers but claims that her heart remains with written words. ‘Longing For Someone I Haven’t Met (Yet)’ is an ode to the yearning for The One. Submissions under POP! Creator Community appears “as is,” without any editorial intervention.

Here’s her piece titled, “Longing for someone I haven’t met (yet)”:

At many points in my life, my heart experiences an ache I can’t explain. There is a hole I can’t fill with a sea of tears. Scientific breakthroughs come every day yet my questions remained unanswered. My curiosity is insatiable. I learn to move on without letting go. I erased the line between myth and truth. Now I am trying to regain my sense of reality. I go busy with my life dealing with the events I can figure out – from adult responsibilities to making time for my hobbies and loved ones.

I tried to forget. I let the anguish stay at the back of my mind. This is the only way to mend the pain that this dilemma gave me. But there are moments when I can’t push the longing back. The old feeling keeps resurfacing. It takes up space in my already full brain, making my heart breaks for the hundredth time.  

That is why I would write this letter to you. I want to let my thoughts out. I have to do it. If I won’t, I will delve into the depths of my misery.

I wonder where you are. Will I bump into you on my way to work? Will a friend introduce us to each other? Do I have to cross seas and mountains to meet you? 

I wonder what you are doing now. Are you thriving or surviving the harsh reality of the pandemic? Are you building your empire or working for someone to establish theirs? Maybe you are setting up your gaming haven, diving into the plant craze, or binge-watching the latest Netflix show.

I wonder who you are. Does your name ring a familiar tone? Are you somebody from my childhood, teenage days, or career years? Do you belong in a world I haven’t explored yet?

What do you resemble? Would I look up to see the fire in your eyes? Or would I peer straight to see the crook of your nose? Will my fair glow match yours or your golden brown surface is a stark contrast to my milky skin? 

What are your quirks? Do you have that smirk that sets the world ablaze? Do you drum your fingers when you think? Does your face brighten in a smile when a colleague tells a joke?

I would listen to your stories – from the accounts of your day to the activities that take your interest. I can already imagine your excitement when you talk about the things you fancy. Or the wild mischief in your eyes when you mention your pranks to me, hoping I will not be the subject of your childishness. I wish to know the nooks and crannies of your being. Every day is an adventure discovering a thing or two about you.

Longing for Someone Ana Sherlene Angeles

I wish to share special moments with you. Birthdays. Anniversaries. Christmas. We could indulge in the festivities. Cook together. Eat together. Celebrate small and big wins.

I can already imagine the activities we will do together. We will go places. We will experience the cold sting of snowy Japan, witness the vivid colors of the Aurora Borealis, or get mesmerized by the intricate architecture of European buildings. We could simply go to the beach and bask in the sun. We will make up for the lost time we spent cooped up at home.

We will explore life too. We will go to a new restaurant. We will taunt each other in video games. We will cook and I will insist you eat my creation. We will visit a friend and spend the time antagonizing her to get a boyfriend or a dog to look after her.

We will send the sparks and the colors to the world. We will be the force to reckon with. Our names will appear on news outlets. Our powerful tale of determination will inspire the entirety of the population.

We will chase our dreams together – no matter how similar or different they may be. You may aim for the top of the corporate hierarchy or be a business success story. I will be on my journey to being a renowned author.

We can also be low-key, do nothing together. You are beside me, reading a book or playing video games. I will write my novel. We do not have to make conversation. Silence is not awkward for us. It is a comfort, a break from the noisy outside world.

I mourn for the distance that sets us apart. My mind drifts to you – thinking of the possibility of us. My heart yearns for your presence. 

When will I meet you? Will I ever meet you?

Do you exist or do you live inside my head?

________

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