Mom shows up to her daughter’s graduation after abandoning her for 11 years

March 27th, 2018
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One of the hardest realities in life that we have to deal with is when someone we love leaves us. There are different reasons why people leave. Some are brought about by uncontrollable situations such as terminal illness or a sudden accident. Others are due to their circumstances in life — the case for most of our Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs). There are also people who simply step out of your life without explaining their reasons.

No one likes to be rejected or abandoned. We hear stories of people abandoning their pets, but there’s nothing more heartbreaking than to hear parents abandoning their children. We often wonder and ask, “how can a parent have the heart to leave their child behind?” Yet, there are those who still do. For most of us, the question will remain unanswered. While some are fortunate enough to finally meet their parents and ask them all about it.

Just like Dainty Peñas who recently shared on Twitter how her estranged mother, showed up on her graduation day.

This isn’t your ordinary ‘mother-daughter’ photo

My mother, who out of nowhere, decided to show up at my graduation after ghosting me for 11 years.

———————

This is gonna be a long thread! pic.twitter.com/wGba8ddisB

— Dainty Peñas (@daintyfayenoami) March 23, 2018

Peñas briefly shared on her thread how she is a product of an early pregnancy. And for reasons unknown to her, her mom left her to the care of her father’s family. Her grandfather and three aunts took care of her.

I’m a product of early pregnancy. My parents were still in college when i was born. When i was a baby, my mother gave me away to my father’s family. 3 of my aunts (my fairy godmothers) and my lolo took care of me ever since i was young. None from my mother’s side knew i existed

— Dainty Peñas (@daintyfayenoami) March 23, 2018

But if you do the math, the years she mentioned doesn’t seem to add up. Peña just graduated from Velez College in Cebu with a degree in Physical Therapy. She’s already 22. She told InqPOP! that what she meant by “ghosting me for 11 years” was that even after giving her away to her father’s family, her mom constantly communicated and visited her until she was 11. But after that, her mom cut all communications and didn’t see her again.

Peña admitted how she would often wish that she got a different set of parents. And because of what her parents did to her, people would often warn her in Cebuano: “Basin ma parehas kas imong mama’g papa ha.”(Baka magaya ka sa mama at papa mo ha.) But even at an early age, Peñas knew that she doesn’t want to end up like her parents. Or even let her future children experience the same thing she did. She’s thankful for the family who took care of her even though her parents weren’t around to see her grow.

My parents aren’t the perfect parents. There were numerous times when i wished i could’ve chosen who my parents are going to be. My father’s side never really liked my mother bec she abandoned me. I grew up hearing my relatives say ‘basin ma parehas kas imong mama’g papa ha’

— Dainty Peñas (@daintyfayenoami) March 23, 2018

At an early age, i promised myself i will never be like my parents. I will work hard, get a degree and become successful. I will never let my future children experience what it’s like to grow up having parents who are not ready to build a family.

— Dainty Peñas (@daintyfayenoami) March 23, 2018

Nevertheless, my aunts, uncle and lolo stood up to fill their shoes. And for that, i will forever be thankful. I may not have parents who are there for me but God never failed to provide me with a family who loves me unconditionally

— Dainty Peñas (@daintyfayenoami) March 23, 2018

There is always that lingering question that her aunt would often ask her: “What if mo kalit lang pakita imong mama nimo?”(What if bigla na lang magpakita ang mama mo?) She knew what to tell her. But when she finally showed up after eleven years during her graduation, she realized that all the things she imagined herself saying to her and doing to her, didn’t happen. Rather, all she said was: “Ni kaon naka? Pagpa kita nila (my father’s family), ganahan sad to sila makakita nimo.”(Kumain ka na ba? Magpakita ka sa pamilya ni papa, gusto ka rin nila makita ka.)

My aunt has always asked the question “what if mo kalit lang pakita imong mama nimo?” I’ve thought of this for quite some time. If she were to show up anytime, i would say “Why are you here? You’re not entitled to any of my success because you were never there my entire life”

— Dainty Peñas (@daintyfayenoami) March 23, 2018

Yesterday, she finally showed up. After 11 fucking years. She immediately hugged me and cried. I froze. I didn’t hug her back. I was just looking at the ceiling til my own tears started to flow from my eyes.

— Dainty Peñas (@daintyfayenoami) March 23, 2018

I thought i would brush her off and shout at her. That was what i’ve always imagined i would do. But the exact opposite happened. The first thing i told her was “ni kaon naka? Pagpa kita nila (my father’s family), ganahan sad to sila makakita nimo”

— Dainty Peñas (@daintyfayenoami) March 23, 2018

She explains that she was surprised at her own reaction but felt like a thorn was lifted from her chest. And that she’s willing to listen to her mom explain to her why she left her.

Honestly, i felt like a thorn was lift off my chest. Maybe it’s true what they say that a mother’s hug will always be different. I never even thought i would cry. I’ve never had any emotional attachment with her but i felt really light after that encounter.

— Dainty Peñas (@daintyfayenoami) March 23, 2018

Maybe now was the right time to see her again. Because unlike the younger Dainty, i now know better and am now mature enough to understand that there are things that will always be beyond our control and just have faith that soon everything will unfold.

— Dainty Peñas (@daintyfayenoami) March 23, 2018

I’m sure my mother has her reasons for leaving me but i’m more than willing to listen to her as to why she had to do so. Thank you Lord for giving me a heart that’s forgiving!

— Dainty Peñas (@daintyfayenoami) March 23, 2018

If it weren’t for the background of my parents, i wouldn’t strive enough this hard for a goal-oriented path (ya girl just got her degree!)

— Dainty Peñas (@daintyfayenoami) March 23, 2018

She ended her thread with a photo of her family — her mom’s family meeting her and her father’s family for the first time.

I’m actually very happy how everything turned out. My mom and her siblings met my father’s side yesterday and they were very welcoming to each other. Everything does happen for a reason! If i can let go of the grudges i’ve been holding on for so long, you can too ❤️🙏🏻✨ pic.twitter.com/SSByqnGh6V

— Dainty Peñas (@daintyfayenoami) March 23, 2018

Unfortunately though, her father’s not in the picture. It seems that her issue with her father is another story to tell.

P.S. my father is not in the photo. The last time we were together was when i was 5 but we still communicate with each other. We have our own issues to resolve too but it’s a whole different story 😅

I’ll end this here. Thank you all for reading 💖

— Dainty Peñas (@daintyfayenoami) March 23, 2018

To some, you may think that they “all lived happily ever after.” But Peñas said that though she was happy that her mom showed up on her graduation day, met her relatives, and experience “…a sense of familiarity that [she] cannot deny, they will never be home.”

The whole thread simply sums up her realization on the way she handled the situation, and importantly, there’s no use in holding grudges against anyone no matter what they did to you.

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