Once again, it’s the season of giving!
Along with this season of giving (and receiving), comes the ever so beloved tradition of doing ‘Secret Santas,’ ‘Monito, Monita,’ or basically exchanging gifts at school, work, or with friends and family. For years now, we’ve all tried spicing up this tradition by giving it themes, motifs, or restrictions.
Some have brought it to the next level by giving the most unhinged things you can think of for a Christmas gift. As an example: for the theme “construction items,” someone gave their Secret Santa a hollow block. Another example, the theme was things found in the office–someone was given a ‘Wet Floor’ sign.
You see what we’re getting at here, right?
In the examples we gave, those were actual incidents that happened in a workplace setting, where everything can be chalked up to funsies and giggles. But what about in a school setting? Would there be any difference in setting themes, limits, and what nots? Is there such thing as an “theme-appropriate gift” for kids in school?
Apparently for some, there should be.
In a viral post on Facebook, a disappointed social media user aired their sentiments over the gifts received by a child during their class’ exchange gift giving, which were bars of soap contained in a used milk box. The user made it clear that it wasn’t their photo but nevertheless made their thoughts about it clear.
OP began their post telling others to respect their opinion over the matter. “Daming nag sasabi na be grateful and appreciative!! Hindi issue dito ang be appreciative at be grateful sa anuman matanggap…hindi naman appropriate sabon ibigay sa bata.”
(A lot are saying “be grateful and appreciative”!! The issue here isn’t about being appreciative and grateful when receiving anything…it’s not even appropriate to give soap to a child.)
They continued on by saying that the child’s feelings were hurt and is valid to feel that way, and that if their mother was the one that received the soaps, of course she would feel happy. “Christmas party para sa mga bata na inaabangan talaga at memorable yan…”
The OP later on ended their post by lamenting that it may be a form of bullying, but that they would rather not dwell on it. “Maybe it is a form of bully who knows. Yung nag bigay lang ang tunay na me alam ng intention nya…for me this is not give love on xmas day its to ruin your xmas day.”
(Maybe it’s a form of bullying, who knows. The person that gave the gift is the only one that knows their intention. For me, it’s not giving love on Christmas day, it’s ruining your Christmas day.)
People on Facebook (as usual) had mixed reactions—some had agreed with the Op, while others laughed it off in their shared posts. Some also recalled what they got when they were kids, while some said that this was an opportune time to teach children about being grateful—which is exactly what OP was not talking about.
Let’s look at this two ways: the first is the usual, “imagine yourself as a kid—how would you react if you were given bar soaps for your school exchange gift?” It undeniably is a letdown if a kid gave another kid something that’s the least exciting. Or, in better words—something that isn’t age appropriate.
Would a kid be happy if they were given dish soap? Or laundry detergent? Or a screwdriver? Obviously not and they’d even feel hurt over it. Call it immature or ungrateful, but it’s because they are children. No one can expect children to just suck up their feelings of disappointment after being given something so boring and to just be grateful to “have been given something.”
That’s not how one can teach gratefulness to a child—telling them to just suck it up and accept things they don’t like. It’s like teaching them to just accept things as they are and to lose their child-like wonder in receiving gifts.
The second way to look at the issue is like this: why do we put so much focus on the value of the gifts? Is it so important for all of us (children and adults alike) to expect so much from others to the point that when we receive something unsatisfactory in our eyes, we immediately think, “ay. Ito lang?”
We get it—when our school or workplaces set a maximum price for the Secret Santa thingy, we usually scramble to reach it to the best of our canvassing and price-hunting abilities. However, if we place ourselves at the feet of those who are already scrambling to survive every single day, can we blame them for thinking practically when it comes to gifts?
When it comes to gifts, people always believe in the saying, “it’s the thought that counts,” but then get disappointed if the “gift” wasn’t what they had hoped for.
If the thought really counted, why do we say “thank you” in such a bitter and passive-aggressive tone if we didn’t like it? If the thought counted, then why are we placing pressure on the people who give gifts? If the thought counted, why do we expect so much from others and then don’t give the same energy to others?
It’s tough, to be honest. Trying to pit one’s emotional side with the rational one when it comes to gifts. These things, in the first place, are supposed to be given without expecting anything in return. But then here we are, debating about the value of gifts for children, adults, and anyone in between.
We’re sorry to be such Debbie downers here when Christmas is literally right around the corner, but this should be something to think about. Where did the essence of gift-giving and the spirit of Christmas go?
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