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Why do we blame only one person in a cheating controversy when it literally ‘takes two to tango’?

November 2023 was a wild ride for couples in the Philippines, ig. like, rumors of breakups here and there, a couple that grew up with a generation just announcing their separation, and so much tea about other couples in Philippine showbiz.

Quite obviously, hindi talaga nagpa-awat ang November 2023 [November 2023 really didn’t hold back.] The past month literally left a scathing wound on Philippine pop culture that’ll probably take a while for it (and even society) to recover. Masakit talaga beh, feeling ng 100 million Filipinos out there na nasa relasyon din sila ng Kathniel.

Now, onto the equally scalding tea that people have been spreading here and there.

Cheating is a choice that two people make. No, it’s not something unintended or one that just comes up out of the blue; it’s a clear and conscious choice.

So, it’s just baffling how people are so quick to open fire and brazenly slander one party that participated in the act of “cheating” when there were two people. We’ll say it again (and in bold letters this time): two people.

However, it appears that Philippine society will remain misogynistic and continue to lean towards only blaming the woman allegedly involved.

Even before Kathryn Bernardo and Daniel Padilla’s heartbreaking revelation that they had ended their relationship of 11 years, Andrea Brillantes had already been branded as the 3rd party and the cause of the breakup of the Philippines’ most powerful love team to ever exist.

Her name has been blasted almost everywhere on social media and people (fans and non-fans alike) have been committing borderline slander towards her everywhere—especially in her comment section.

comments to andrea 1

comments to andrea
Screengrab from Instagram


Not only her but even actress Gillian Vicencio had been dragged into the fray by fans after some posts on social media included her in Daniel Padilla’s alleged serial cheating list.

As of writing, only Kathryn Bernardo, Daniel Padilla, and their management have posted statements about the breakup. Neither had addressed the allegations raised surrounding the mentioned actresses and other chismis by other parties.

Here’s our takeaway from this whole cheating fiasco: Why are people so fixated on demonizing women inside and outside of relationships? While people are celebrating and lauding one for speaking out so maturely in a well-written statement, others are turning a blind eye to the man and immediately attacking the other woman.

By completely ignoring, we mean forgetting that there are two people at fault. Yes, two. But people choose to ignore that and just fixate on just one of the two, and it’s always the woman.

Where’s the feminism and equality that people are talking about? Did that just fly out of the room just because the woman involved is (sorry to say) notorious for her relationships in the past?

Did the discourse on gender stereotypes just fall off just because of that? Well, apparently so. People on the internet are too quick to speak their minds about the topics of feminism, gender stereotypes, and the like, and at the same time cling to ideas that are the complete opposite of what they stand up for.

It’s hypocritical, to say the least. It’s unsettling to see the same generation fighting for women’s rights switch up and become the people they’re fighting against when it involves famous couples and relationships.

This whole tea party reeks of misogyny. Come on, people. You talk so much of being feminists and against misogynistic ideas but you’re perpetrating them by the things you say on the Internet. You’re just as bad as the people who spread misinformation around like a joint.

Seriously, guys. It takes two people to tango, and people need to apologize to the women involved for being so cruel. This is why women find it hard to empower themselves even at this point in time.


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