Let’s be real: An apology is one of the hardest things to say, and is also one of the easiest things to ever f*** up. Like, it’s literally no joke. We’ve probably all seen and experienced bad apologies throughout our lives, but the ones we’ve seen on the Internet? A whole other level…or circle of hell.
Non-apology apologies have been going around on the Internet for quite a while now. Whenever we think of one, it’s always the “Notes app” apologies. But, some people have gone above and beyond the Notes app and did even worse ones.
Before we delve into the cringiest non-apology apologies ever on the Internet, let’s first define what these are and how to spot them.
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a non-apology is a “disingenuous or insufficient apology” or a “statement that is offered as an apology but that fails to express true regret or to take responsibility for having done or said something wrong.” These kinds of apologies put the blame on the ones supposedly receiving the apology and are a way to gain forgiveness without acknowledging the wrongs in one’s actions.
Non-apology apologies are painfully common in politics, and public relations, and are most sensationalized on social media, especially among celebrities and influencers. It’s basically gaslighting, by the way.
So, how do we spot these sorry excuses for a sincere way of owning up to one’s mistakes?
It’s simple: if the person’s apology is any of the following phrases,
“I’m sorry you feel that way,”
“I’m sorry if/but…,”
“I’m sorry, but there are two sides to this story,”
“Ugh. Fine! I’m sorry, are you happy now?”
“I was just…,”
“I’m sorry that you…,”
“Everybody makes mistakes, and I’m not perfect…,”
“I hope you won’t hold this against me…”
“Mistakes were made…,”
And others, well, better put those people under the red flag list because these are non-apology apologies.
Want some more concrete examples? Here are the cringiest non-apology apologies ever made on the Internet. In no particular order:
Colleen Ballinger, or Miranda Sings. (Need we say more?)
Doja Cat was called out for her problematic, anti-gay language back in 2015 and said:
this was wild pic.twitter.com/m4PgsVb0YZ
— j. (@lenellebelle) June 8, 2022
Awkwafina being called out for her “Blaccent”:
Akwafina pic.twitter.com/g6tVv5gNyQ
— Kenny Thee Oracle (@KennyTheeOracle) June 8, 2022
Logan Paul’s “apology” for the Aokigahara “suicide forest” incident:
Trevor Noah’s “apology” for being racist and insensitive:
Actually if you watch my stand up you'll see that I did make jokes after my mother was shot in the head. As a comedian I use comedy to process pain and discomfort in my world but I am sorry that this hurt you and others, that's not what I was trying to do. https://t.co/OuVnkHyIfG
— Trevor Noah (@Trevornoah) March 2, 2019
Kim Kardashian and the “Get your f****** ass up and work” thing:
EXCLUSIVE: Kim Kardashian responds to backlash over women in business comments: “It wasn't a blanket statement towards women … it was taken out of context, but I’m really sorry if it was received that way.”@robinrobertshttps://t.co/kWY5S6eOU4 pic.twitter.com/C15OoEIJz2
— Good Morning America (@GMA) March 28, 2022
Adam Levine and his funny flirtation on Instagram:
Will Smith “apologizing” for the infamous slap from the Oscars last year:
Vanessa Hudgens whipping out the Notes app for her apology over her comment on Instagram Live about COVID-19:
Lizzo about the lawsuits being filed against her by past members of her team and “acknowledging” the sensationalized reports:
View this post on Instagram
To bring the matter closer to home, here’s a prime example of a Pinoy non-apology apology: Donnalyn Bartolome’s baby photoshoot from a year ago:
— Donnalyn (@DJBDonna) July 10, 2022
In conclusion: Say sorry and MEAN IT.
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