[Commentary] The Absolute Divorce Bill isn’t the absolute evil you think it is

Dearest Filipino public,

It’s disappointing to see how most of you (the older generation) are reacting to the passing of the Absolute Divorce Bill. Yes, I had to point out (I’m Gen Z, btw) that it’s the older generation reacting completely negatively to this bill, but all the while it isn’t that surprising at this point.

Why? Well, to get straight to the point—almost all of the Filipino public is so stuck up on the patriarchal and traditional (and blindly religious) way of thinking that they are not willing to open themselves up to anything else.

Or, in other words, you’re all too deluded in your “happy family” fantasy when everyone else’s families and lives are falling apart.

A little bit of background before I continue on:

Did you know that only 2 countries in the world outlaw divorce? Yeah, that’s the Vatican City, where the Pope is, and the Philippines. Yay! Pinoy Pride!

No, that’s not the Pinoy pride you’re asking for.

This just means that out of 195 countries in the world, the Philippines is one of the two countries that does not allow anyone to legally walk away from an abusive relationship and to spare children from the trauma of bearing witness to a destructive family.

Our country is absolutely conservative and restrictive—the only way out of a marriage (abusive or not) in the Philippines is through annulment. This, however, is completely out of reach and mind-blowingly difficult for the vulnerable to even think of.

Why? Because it’s ******* expensive, that’s why. Pera-perahan lang ‘to eh [this is just about money.]

Most of the time, people completely disregard the feelings of the victims of abusive marriages and brush them under the rug all for the sake of religion.

“Pero hindi naman sang-ayon ang Diyos sa divorce! Walang divorce sa Bibliya! [But God does not approve of divorce! There is no divorce in the Bible!]”

“Masama ang divorce sa mata ng Diyos! Kasalanan yan! [Divorce is evil in the eyes of God! It is a sin!]”

And?

I know that our religion, Roman Catholicism, upholds the sacrament of marriage and the teachings of Jesus about marriage and family. I respect that, I really do.

What I do not respect, or utterly abhor, is the fact that our society is hellbent on staying blindly faithful to something that is “against the will of God” or something that’s said to “invite wrath” to the nation.

And for what? The pride of upholding abusive relationships? The fantasy of being in a happy family even when things are falling apart? The thinking that the Church and its teachings will always triumph over modernity?

While yes, in an ideal world, there shouldn’t be a need for divorce. But let’s face it—we’re living in a world where there are evil people hiding behind angelic faces, where we’re totally far away from living in an absolutely perfect world, and in a society where people always tell women to suck it up and to just stay for the sake of the children.

Which to be honest? Shouldn’t even be a thing anymore, but apparently it still is because of majority of you still think that way.

Sadly, but not surprisingly, this is the reality of most Filipinos who are stuck in marriages that do not give them the freedom to choose what is best for them. Is this what the Church teaches us? Is this what Jesus wanted for all of us, to be under the hand of abusers and cruel human beings?

Is that was “love” and “marriage” supposed to be about?

No, I think not. And this is why it’s high time (and a long time coming) for the Philippines to have a law for divorce.

The Ateneo de Manila Theology Department said it best when they opened their article with this line, “Having no divorce law in our country does not mean we are already upholding and promoting the sanctity of marriage. At the same time, supporting and having a divorce law does not necessarily mean we are endangering the institution of marriage.”

In the same way, they were also right when they said, “Divorce ought to be only a last resort but we must not stand in the way of those who truly need it.”

Having an “Absolute Divorce Bill” isn’t the absolute evil that you think it is—it is the complete opposite. While part of it still is a little bit too restrictive, it is still a welcome effort to finally give relief to women, children, and families in pain.

If you’re one of those people that keeps saying, “No to divorce! My wife will leave me!” Then…my brother in Christ…that’s definitely a “you” problem.

Having a divorce law in the country doesn’t mean we’re all going to hell, nor does it mean that we’re belittling the teachings of the Church and of Jesus Christ. It’s all about being more compassionate and aware that we are not living the same lives as others, and that they should be given a choice to alleviate their sufferings.

If you’re in a healthy marriage, then why are you restricting others from wanting to get out of an unhealthy one? Do you think you have the right to restrict others just because you’re in an ideal situation?

Get out of your delusions and let others have the choice to live in better situations. Just because you have it good, doesn’t mean you have the moral ascendency to dictate what is right and wrong.

Marriage is sacred, yes. But it should never be filled with cruelty and abusive behaviors. Those actions are what ruin the marriage, NOT divorce.

If you get that in your head, then maybe you’ll probably understand why we, the younger generation and many others, advocate for having divorce in the country.

Just like many other things in our lives, all of us should be allowed to have a choice in decisions in our lives. But sure, since you all probably think that having the freedom to choose is a sin, then we’ll all probably burn in hell.

Sincerely,

The younger generation

 

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