It’s impossible to put into words the depth of what you’ve taught me. How looking into your eyes is enough to make me feel loved and cherished, and how your presence can light up my world and easily brighten my mood after a long, tiring day.
I used to believe I was selfish, barely able to take care of myself, let alone another soul. Yet, early in the morning, I found myself at the market, carefully selecting your favorite treats, budgeting for your needs, and summoning courage I never knew I had while sitting beside you in the clinic during your hardest times.
You taught me how love can be overwhelming and how devastating it is to say goodbye. I yearn for more time, wishing your lives paralleled mine so we could face the world together. But love, as I’ve come to understand, is selfless. Though my heart pleads for you to stay, I cannot bear to witness your suffering any longer. This, perhaps, is the essence of love: learning to let go when you know it’s time to go. When I whisper “I love you” and assure you “It’s now okay for you to rest,” it’s because I cannot bear to see you endure another moment of pain just to make me happy. I’d rather it be me. I prefer to feel the pain of losing you than continue seeing you in pain.
It amazes me how just looking into your eyes, I feel comforted more than words could ever do. And I know that for the following days, months, or even years, I will remember you and cry. It will be hard to wake up without seeing you wag your tail or return home without you waiting there. But with time, however agonizing, I will heal. And even though it’s heartbreaking and traumatic, I will love again and embrace the role of a fur mom once more, despite having a bittersweet ache in my heart. I will look into those eyes with the same care and affection, and I promise I will remember you.
Perhaps you now have your own wings, reunited with old friends across the rainbow bridge. Yet, I will always look up at the sky, longing for the chance that you might still see me, and I will always pray and hope that one day, we’ll meet again.
With all my love,
Jerah
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Jerah Rivera is currently the social media content lead at INQUIRER.net and is a proud fur mom to Lunox and Marble. She’s drawn to sunsets and storytelling. She loves to play badminton and although tone-deaf, loves music. In this heartfelt essay, Jerah celebrates the cherished memories of her beloved fur babies who have journeyed across the rainbow bridge.
