A year after the highly publicized split from her ex-husband and Wicked actor Ethan Slater, Lilly Jay got candid about navigating her life following her divorce from her high school sweetheart.
In an essay penned by Jay titled “How Does My Divorce Make You Feel?”, she detailed how the public fallout of their marriage affected her.
“No one gets married thinking they’ll get divorced… but I really never thought I would get divorced. Especially not just after giving birth to my first child and especially not in the shadow of my husband’s new relationship with a celebrity,” the clinical psychologist wrote.
Jay and Slater’s relationship started in 2012 and after six years of dating, the two exchanged “I Do”s. In 2022, the two welcomed their first child after a “life-threatening birth complication.”
In the same year, however, Slater made headlines after sparking romance with his fellow Wicked star Ariana Grande. The news came after reports of Grande’s divorce from his ex-partner Dalton Gomez were publicized.
Shortly after, multiple news outlets then reported that Slater had filed for divorce from Jay. In September 2024, the high school sweethearts finalized their divorce and settled.
Continuing in her essay, Jay also recalled the growing distance between her and Slayer, noting that after the news of their divorce broke out, she had “work[ed] diligently on my private project of accepting the sudden public downfall of my marriage.”
“Days with my son are sunny. Days when I can’t escape the promotion of a movie associated with the saddest days of my life are darker,” the psychologist said.
On another note, Jay had also shared that while she and Slater’s relationship changed, their priority is their son.
“Slowly but surely, I have come to believe that in the absence of the life I planned with my high school sweetheart, a lifetime of sweetness is waiting for me and my child,” shared Jay.
“While our partnership has changed, our parenthood has not. Both of us fiercely love our son 100 percent of the time, regardless of how our parenting time is divided,” she added.
Jay also revealed that after having the intimate parts of her life being shared with the public, she “deeply miss[es] the life of invisibility I created for myself.”
“If I can’t be invisible anymore, I may as well introduce myself. You know how a sponge is most effective at absorbing liquid when it’s already a bit wet? Maybe we can think about my messy not-so-personal life in that way: a dose of my own loss, rage, powerlessness, and sadness that helps me hold yours,” she noted.
“I cannot resolve the incongruity of a career in helping others prepare for the exquisite fragility and beauty of pregnancy and postpartum and then having my own world upended. But I can start hearing myself when I tell patients that avoidance maintains fear, and maybe it’s time to accept that I’m not unknown anymore,” she added.
Following the release of Jay’s essay, people on social media shared their sentiments, expressing their sympathy and support for Jay and praising the psychologist for her dedication to her work.
"Some of what you loved most about your partner was actually your own goodness reflected back to you; it’s yours to keep and carry forward." -Lilly Jay
so powerful!!!!! 🩷 pic.twitter.com/SmkuMCbHwd
— Lady Luck (@SelOnTheBrain) December 19, 2024
Wish that baby grows up with a better father and better family system. Hope lily moves on from him to a better man. Life goes on, she has life ahead of her.
— Nando (@nandoschills) December 19, 2024
Lilly Jay’s situation is heartbreaking, especially after everything she sacrificed. It’s understandable why people feel betrayed by Ethan Slater and Ariana Grande’s actions. Their choices have caused a lot of pain, and it’s tough to see someone go through so much only to be let…
— Aiman Baigⁱᴾⁱᵃⁿ (@MAimanBaig) December 20, 2024
Ariana and Ethan did not get dragged enough. Lilly Jay literally lost job offers because of the tabloids on top of her postpartum depression.
Truly scum of the earth
— Ⓥ (@lordellea) December 19, 2024
After reading Dr. Lilly Jay’s Cut article I’m here to say Ariana Grande is a massive fucking cunt and also fuck Ethan Slater
— Colleen (@Coll3enG) December 19, 2024
Her personal life has overshadowed this but I don't think enough people know this woman has dedicated the last several years of her life to helping advocate for sexual assault survivors and providing mental services for victims. Lilly Jay I only want good things for you! https://t.co/eJyRJLqpv7
— em (@emilyagain) December 19, 2024
keep in mind the main part of this article and why it resonates so much – Lilly Jay isn’t angry at Ethan and Ariana, she’s devastated that the public affair will break the sanctity of her career as a psychologist, which is built on the ability for her clients to project onto her https://t.co/FurKZuZRvh
— meggnog 🎄🍨 (@meggyolks) December 20, 2024
I didn’t know much about Lilly Jay as a person but after reading her article I’m so so impressed
What an inspiring, intelligent and resilient woman
I truly admire her dedication to her work and her family
I wish her and her family healing and peace— SoKi (@g0g0tomago) December 19, 2024
When news of Grande and Slater’s relationship was made public, many speculated that the Broadway actor had cheated on Jay, which the two Wicked actors denied.
In an interview back in October, Slater commented, “It’s really hard to see people who don’t know anything about what’s happening commenting on it and speculating, and then getting things wrong about the people you love.”
Grande, on the other hand, said that she was disappointed to “see many people believe” the narrative. However, rumors about the cheating allegations were fueled more when she released her comeback single, “Yes, and?” Many speculated that this was her response to the critics of her relationship with Slater.
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