[Commentary] When a breadwinner’s burden becomes too heavy, it’s simply ‘abuse’

The burden of being a breadwinner should not come at the cost of one’s well-being.

The episode of “It’s Showtime featuring the segment”And The Breadwinner Is’ sheds light on the harsh realities of familial sacrifice and the burdens carried by individuals who are forced to support multiple generations. This segment, which aired on the popular noontime show, highlights the story of Michael, a man who has been the breadwinner of his family since his third year in high school. For over ten years, he has shouldered the financial responsibility of supporting his parents, four siblings, and even his nieces and nephews.

His story is not only one of survival but also of perseverance, a heart-wrenching example of the emotional and physical toll of financial dependency within Filipino families. Vice Ganda’s initial question, “Ilang years na po kayong breadwinner? [How many years have you been the breadwinner?] starts a dialogue that lays bare the often-unspoken hardships that accompany the role of a breadwinner. Michael’s response reveals a life lived under the constant weight of responsibility, one that began at the tender age of a teenager. The fact that Michael has been providing for his family for more than a decade speaks volumes about the emotional maturity and sacrifice required to fulfill such a demanding role. Yet, this commitment comes at a great personal cost.

Michael’s story is not unique. In the Philippines, the concept of the ‘extended family’ often leads to an imbalanced distribution of financial responsibility, with younger members expected to contribute significantly to the household’s needs. Michael’s monthly income of 16,000 to 18,000 pesos, which is his only source of financial support, has to cover not only his basic needs but also those of his extended family. He described how, after deductions, his take-home pay is reduced to a meager 7,000 pesos, which he sends entirely to his family. The question of how such a small amount can support so many people is a sobering one, as it highlights the systemic inequality and underemployment that plague many Filipinos.

What is particularly striking about Michael’s narrative is his ability to stretch his resources to the breaking point. The heartbreaking revelation that he sometimes spends as little as 500 pesos for a 15-day period in Manila underscores the extent of his deprivation. His frugal eating habits, opting for a small serving of chicken pastil, are a testament to his resilience. Yet, the emotional toll of living under such constraints is evident. Michael’s vulnerability, expressed through his admission of sometimes borrowing money from friends and colleagues, adds a human dimension to his struggle, reminding the audience that even the strongest individuals have their breaking points.

Vice Ganda, in her usual compassionate yet pointed manner, questions how someone could survive on so little, especially given Michael’s physically demanding role as a PE teacher. Anne Curtis, another host, also notes the physical demands of Michael’s job, which makes his situation all the more harrowing. The conversation here becomes not just about financial survival but also about the psychological and physical consequences of living in a perpetual state of scarcity. The unsung toll of being a breadwinner is often overlooked in mainstream conversations, yet it is an integral part of understanding the complex dynamics of Filipino families.

In addition to the financial burden, Michael’s story also exposes the emotional strain of being a breadwinner. The fact that Michael has kept his financial struggles hidden from his parents—who are unaware that their son is incurring debt in order to meet their needs—is both painful and revealing. This revelation should serve as a wake-up call to many parents, emphasizing the importance of financial planning and responsibility. Raising children should not come with the expectation that they will bear the burden of adult responsibilities prematurely. As Michael’s story illustrates, the consequences of such expectations are not just financial but emotional as well.

It shows the flaws in a system that forces children into adulthood before they are ready. It is clear that there is a need for broader societal changes to alleviate the pressures on young breadwinners like Michael. The emotional toll of living in such dire circumstances can lead to long-term effects on mental health and well-being. The heavy reliance on young breadwinners is indicative of a larger issue of inequality and a lack of social safety nets in the country.

Moreover, breadwinners’ experience like this calls attention to the broader issue of intergenerational dependency, where parents, instead of raising their children to be independent, pass on their financial responsibilities to them. This perpetuates a cycle of dependence that hinders personal growth and traps families in a state of perpetual struggle. The narrative of Michael and his family underscores the importance of being a responsible parent—not just in terms of emotional and physical care, but in financial responsibility as well. Parents must recognize that their children deserve the opportunity to pursue their own dreams, not be burdened by the weight of their own unpreparedness.

It also highlights the contradictions in the way the Filipino family structure is often idealized. The expectation that children will act as the primary financial caregivers is normalized to such an extent that it becomes a social expectation rather than an exception. This is problematic because it places immense pressure on young individuals, often before they have developed the financial or emotional maturity to carry such a heavy burden. The familial bonds, which should be a source of love and support, are instead twisted into an obligation that can be suffocating. The deep-seated value of “family first” can sometimes unintentionally foster an environment where the self-sacrifice of one individual, often a child, is deemed more important than their personal well-being.

While Michael’s story elicits sympathy and admiration for his endurance, it also begs the question: How much is enough? The cycle of sacrifice cannot continue indefinitely without damaging the mental and physical health of the individuals involved. Michael’s financial strategy of cutting corners and relying on his friends for help is an act of sheer survival, but it is also an unsustainable way to live. How long can he continue to subsist on so little, sacrificing his health and happiness for the sake of others? This question is not just about Michael, but about the future of all young breadwinners in similar circumstances. The moment when these individuals can no longer carry the load is fast approaching, and when that happens, society must ask itself what alternatives it has created for people like Michael.

As the segment closes, Vice Ganda poignantly remarks, “This is so heartbreaking! This should be a wake-up call for parents to plan for their children’s future.” Her words are a crucial reminder of the responsibilities that come with parenthood, urging parents to take proactive steps in securing their children’s futures. The truth is that breadwinners like Michael are not just victims of their circumstances—they are casualties of a system that has failed to provide adequate support for families in need.

The episode of It’s Showtime serves as a harsh reminder of the need for a more robust support system for families, particularly in the areas of education, healthcare, and employment. There needs to be a cultural shift, where the role of the breadwinner is not synonymous with the burden of sacrificing one’s own future for the sake of others. Family structures should empower individuals, not demand their emotional and financial ruin. While some individuals willingly embrace the role of the breadwinner, it’s important for the family to support them in carrying the “burden.” By addressing both systemic issues and cultural norms, the cycle of intergenerational dependency can eventually be broken, allowing future generations the chance to flourish without the heavy toll of unsung sacrifice.

 

Other POP! stories you might like:

[Commentary] Should the entertainment industry normalize selling celebrities’ bodies for a good cause?

Cyberbullying and doxxing are never ‘okay’ things to do online

Clothing store criticized for asking parents of PWD child to leave, issues apology

Filipinos celebrate Sofronio Vasquez’s historic victory as the first Asian and Filipino to win ‘The Voice USA’

Sarah Geronimo’s ‘Good Luck, Babe’ performance draws criticism over lyric changes

Read more...