Almost every child has probably experienced the pressure of making their parents proud. Whether it’d be excelling in their studies or winning medals for sports, many of these children have strived to make their parents see how worthy they are of their accolades and acceptance.
However, the reality is that not all parents recognize their children’s efforts in trying to please them. And oftentimes, their words can be a source of pain and anxiety towards the kids. So when Twitter user Nikka witnessed this on a jeepney ride, she was quite furious with the child’s mother. Here are some of the comments she had regarding this:
Overheard sa jeep. Mom talking to her daughter (8 years old siguro)
Mom: top 2? Ang tunay na magaling top 1. Iyang top 2, wala yan, di yan magaling. Dapat top 1.
Parents, let’s stop doing this. Do not make your child feel like she’s a failure. Top 2 is okay. Top 3,4 or 5 is ok.
— nikka (@nikkapesudas) December 15, 2017
As long as you know that your child is doing her best to make you proud, stop telling them that their efforts are not enough. Mahirap. Sobra. Maybe, bata pa siya pero mag-stick sa utak niya na hindi sapat ang efforts niya.
— nikka (@nikkapesudas) December 15, 2017
She’ll remember that FOREVER. she’ll remember how disappointed you’ll be kapag hanggang doon lang iyong naabot niya tapos maffrustrate siya kasi hindi niya kaya maging top 1. And she’ll feel bad about her selfZ
— nikka (@nikkapesudas) December 15, 2017
Stop teasing her, like, “Di mo kaya si ano no, kasi masyadong matalino, tapos ikaw top 2 lang.” DAMN IT! BEING TOP 2 MEANS THAT UR CHILD IS STRIVING TO BE THE BEST!!!! DO NOT INVALIDATE YOUR CHILD’S FEELINGS AND EFFORTS!!!!!!!
— nikka (@nikkapesudas) December 15, 2017
Nikka felt very strongly about this situation because she’s experienced this kind of condescending tone from her parents before. As she explains in this tweet, she felt very stupid every time they didn’t acknowledge her efforts.
“Ma, best in Filipino raw ako sabi ni Teacher.”
Then, sasabihin ng nanay ko na, “Best in Filipino? Yuck. Anong magaling don? Si ano best in Science at Math? Dapat ganon para magaling talaga.”
Pakiramdam ko sobrang bobo ko dahil doon.
— nikka (@nikkapesudas) December 15, 2017
Through this experience, Nikka advises parents everywhere to accept their children for who they are and not push them too hard to become something they are not. In the last few tweets of this thread, she emphasizes the importance of a child’s mental health.
You know, as our parents, u should lift us up and be proud of us no matter what. Kasi diba, u r the last person na tatakbuhan namin when we feel like lost na kami sa life. Please, stop putting us down. Lift us up habang bata pa kami. Support us.
— nikka (@nikkapesudas) December 15, 2017
Btw, your child’s mental health is more important than her grades and medals. Please, take note of this.
— nikka (@nikkapesudas) December 15, 2017
Whether you agree or disagree with Nikka’s comments on the situation, always remember that your words will always mean something — especially when you say it to a child. Remember that the next time you try to put down someone else’s efforts!