by AJT Santos
Hatoful Boyfriend is one of those video games that are so quirky, so oddball-frickin’-out-there that it can only be thought up of by someone who’s been binging on whatever they mix in the water supply in Japan.
Set to come out on PS4 and PS Vita July 21st, this “pigeon dating simulator” is about a human girl navigating high school life at the all-bird school of St. Pigeonation’s in a post-apocalyptic world where birds act and live like regular humans — complete with all the drama and romance that comes with it. Think Gossip Girl but with feathers.
Still with us? Okay good. Hold on because we’re not even at the weirdest part yet.
The goal of this game is for you to live the life of a normal human teenager doing normal high school stuff like participating in sports, passing exams, and hanging out with your pigeon besties all with the goal of — get ready — snagging a bird boyfriend by the end of the semester. Otherwise, you get assassinated.
That’s it. You’re the only human in the entire world and if you don’t get yourself a boyfriend from a different species then you die. And oh yeah, you live alone in a cave.
The mechanics is pretty much the same as any other video game in the visual novel genre: you progress the storyline by choosing how you interact with the other characters in the game a la Choose Your Own Adventure. If you’re nice and cool then you make friends, if you’re a douche then you piss people off and so on.
Not everyone will be able to appreciate Hatoful Boyfriend. After all, stock photos of pigeons layered over anime backgrounds isn’t exactly mainstream fare.
The branching dialogue options, twisty plotline, and multiple endings may also turn off most gamers who are looking for more fast-paced, itchy trigger finger action.
If you’ve ever wanted to go out with a pigeon but couldn’t because of social constraints, then Hatoful Boyfriend is the closest thing you can get to living your avian dating fantasy.