Introverts are often stereotyped as always “serious and deep.” They are even perceived to be “anti-social” by some. But introverts are people of ideas, are more comfortable with their inner self, and have public and private lives. They are often shy and keep only a handful of close friends. They are quiet in large groups unlike very outspoken extroverts as they often mentally rehearse before speaking. To some extroverts, they may find it challenging whenever they get “tipid” answers from them.
So here are some tips on how to get these introverts to really talk – a lot:
#1: The Art Attack
Majority of introverts are artists – writers, playwrights, musicians, painters – you name it. Most of them are more inclined towards the arts because they are generally shy and reserved. And they needed a medium to channel their thoughts, emotions and ideas. Art provides them that.
So if you have been to museums here and abroad, you can use that as the springboard for your conversation. It will surely get them to babble longer than they normally would do.
If, however, you have not visited any museums yet (the National Library implemented free entrance starting July, so better check it out!), you can start with any of the following works of art:
a. Orange and Yellow by Mark Rothko
b. Autumn Rhythm (Number 30) by Jackson Pollock
c. The Starry Night by Vincent Van Gogh
d. Campbell’s Soup Cans by Andy Warhol
e. David by Michelangelo
Any of these works will surely ring a bell and bring to mind some recollections of past discussions. If you happen to bring up Rothko’s work, they’ll probably tell you that they were surprised to learn that this abstract painting brings some people to tears (and they might even be one of those people).
#2: The Music Flare
If you are musically-inclined, expect that these introverts are too! You can start by asking them what musical instruments they play, if you are a musician as well. But if you happen to just love listening to music then don’t be afraid to mention genres you listen to – alternative, pop, rock, blues, country, jazz, or classical. You never know, they might share the same interest after all!
#3: The Athletic Nudge
Just because they are bookish does not mean they cannot stretch a few muscles. You will be surprised that some introverts are highly sporty and competitive. And not just with the usual exercise of running and jogging. These guys can shoot some hoops, score a goal, and catch a disc. They love the outdoors too! So expect they will go hiking with you and be willing to try any extreme sport.
#4: The Film Madness
One of the things that introverts love to do is binge watch films and TV series. The films made by Wong Kar-wai, Alfred Hitchcock, Akira Kurosawa, and Hayao Miyazaki are all must-see! As film enthusiasts, don’t be shocked when you hear them talking about the technical details of the film. They are not only moved emotionally by the story and the acting, film’s technical aspects give them a deeper understanding of it. Thus, a more grounded effect on them.
#5: The Lit Lecture
If all of the above is not something you would like to talk about, you can try this one. Most introverts are certified bibliophiles! You can never go wrong discussing the classics we were all required to read in school like Homer’s The Iliad, Shakespeare’s Hamlet, or Dante’s Divine Comedy, but don’t hesitate to branch out with the works of more contemporary writers like Warren Ellis, Chuck Pahlaniuk, or Haruki Murakami. If you are not as bookish as they are, throw in some spoken word artists like Phil Kaye & Sarah Kay or Pinoy poets like Edith Tiempo, Angelo Suarez, and Juan Miguel Severo. Or maybe try talking about comic books. You might want to mention your own DC or Marvel collection.
Not into literature? Try drama! These lads and lasses enjoy watching plays and some of them are good actors, scriptwriters, and directors. If you dream of acting one day, get some tips from them.
#6: The Life Discourse
Probably you are not interested to talk about any of the aforementioned and you want something profound. Try asking them about what they think of work, family, marriages, and human dignity. You won’t be disappointed to learn a few things here and there. But if you are #heartbroken, go ahead and talk about love and life with them. They are great listeners and gives great advice for free (if you ask them for some).
#7: The “Blah” Blunder
Perhaps you don’t want to try so hard coming up with topics to discuss with your introverted acquaintance? Well, pull off some of your #hugot lines or hilarious jokes and discover that, like everyone else, they also enjoy a good laugh. They are not always “serious and deep,” contrary to popular belief. They are just plain introverts and prefer a quiet café than a crowded cafeteria.
The next time you find yourself stuck with an introvert, try any of these moves to get them talking. You have to understand that introverts are very private people, particularly the INFJ types. They are not very good conversationalists like their extroverted counterparts. They simply express themselves better through their chosen field. They may look aloof and quiet, but they are easy to get along with. Just find a common rhythm; they won’t be afraid to dance with you.
All images are from Google.